Expectancy

I find myself sitting here
By the phone
Waiting for it to ring
I don’t know who’s supposed to call
But I’m still here
Watching and waiting

It’s this overwhelming sense of urgency
That’s got me down today
Expecting something to happen
Feeling powerless to make it start

I guess this is what comes
From opening my eyes again
Allowing my feelings to be vulnerable
And starting to like people
And taking interest in the ones
Whom I find too interesting to be

Maybe this will pass
And go away to another place
So that when I close my eyes
I’ll stop seeing someone’s face

I feel foolish again
Foolish and silly
Ha! Who do I think I am?
What am I thinking?

So here I am
Expecting and hoping
Knowing all is out of my hands
And that thing I want to happen
(If only I knew what it could be!)
Will probably happen to someone else
And probably not to me
For now at least
Still waiting.