I wrestle with demons every single day.
Not with affliction of oppression,
Not with temptation or desire,
But these demons are the ones I’ve created,
And every day I try to quench my own fire.
I wrestle with the demon of bondage,
Being a slave to myself is my sin.
It seems that when I’m faced with decisions,
My lesser side always gives in.
I wrestle with the demon of pride.
I lie to myself every day.
And I try to believe I’m justified
For the bad things I do; bad things I say.
I wrestle with the demon of regret.
How do I change what I’ve done?
Living with mistakes so unchangeable,
Every day does not make living fun.
I wrestle with the demon of guilt,
Knowing I’ve caused someone harm.
To take back all the pain I’ve inflicted,
I so gladly would give my right arm.
I wrestle with the demon of detachment,
Trying hard to divorce my past.
To live with the real me is unbearable,
But denial like that can never last.
I wrestle with the demon of depression.
When I face reality my heart is so sad.
I’ve done so little good that I’m worthless.
I live with knowing I’ve done so much bad.
I wrestle with the demon of not knowing
How to pick up from here and move on.
If only I could start my life over,
Or just make all my demons be gone.